I sat down to write this reflection on a rainy, cold, northern-California day. As I began to pray and ponder what to write about, I felt as if the Lord was speaking to me through nature.
Even if there is rain pouring outside your office window, the air is cold, and the day is dreary, somewhere in the world the sun shines, the air is warm, and the sky is the most wonderful shade of blue with not a cloud in it. Sometimes when it is rainy out we forget such things; I know I do. We forget that above those clouds which bring us the much-needed rain, the sun is shinin犀利士5mg
g—even though we don’t see it.
From this, I segued into thoughts of my own life since coming to Christ. In some ways it doesn’t seem like I have changed all that much. I still have questions which need to be answered. I still perceive the world differently from other people. I still have hopes and dreams which have not been realized. But then God, in His infinite mercy, began to show me just how much I have changed—besides my hair being a little grayer.
To start with, my old life has passed away and a new one has begun. This concept is huge. While all my questions have not been answered, they, too, have changed. Why, you may ask? Well, many of my previous questions were answered and those that were not have now been replaced by new questions which will help me continue to deepen my relationship with Christ.
Before I accepted Christ I saw the world through the eyes of a self-proclaimed gay man. Today, I see things through the eyes of one who has been redeemed. I no longer see through the eyes of a man dead in trespasses and sins, but through the eyes of a man resurrected into a new life. I still have hopes and dreams which have not been realized, but like my questions, they have changed. And yes, I still perceive the world differently from others.
Now, as I get ready to graduate from seminary, I see how God has used this educational experience to heal and reconcile some of the deepest hurts of my past. In my process of forgiving and reconciling, a new song, a new dream, and hopes with the most wonderful of expectations have entered into places within me where only anxiety and despair once grew.
As I took this time and reflected, I knew that the sun once again would shine outside my window. Just like a change in the weather, there would also come new and wonderful changes in my life. I then began to think about the up-coming Easter season, the arrival of spring, and the blooming of flowers, with all the glorious colors and fragrance.
My mind then went to the four gospels and their depiction of Christ’s last days. We do not really like the part of the story about Jesus being in the tomb. It is just a dreadful place to be.
Nevertheless, before Jesus was resurrected, He had to be buried. His precious blood was drained by the spear-pierce of a Roman guard. His body had to be lowered to the ground, un-nailed, washed, prepared, and wrapped in a shroud for burial. He was then carried to the rock tomb and laid to rest on a cold stone slab. Another stone had to be rolled into place. Darkness overtook the fading light as the tomb opening was sealed shut.
And what of those who followed Him during His earthly ministry? As the body of Jesus lay in a cold, dark cave, the disciples grew fearful and anxious, locking themselves in the upper room of some unknown house, probably somewhere in Jerusalem. However, a glorious light was about to break through the power of darkness. A redeemed and transformed, previously demon-possessed former prostitute brought news to the disciples that Jesus’ body was missing.
Later that day this same woman, Mary Magdalene, had an encounter with the risen Lord Jesus. I often wonder what went through her mind. Did her face flush and her heart skip a beat? What emotions did she grapple with when she recognized Jesus? What was she thinking? And finally, was she able to grasp the fact that she now also led a resurrected, transformed life because of what Jesus had done?
And what about you and me? Just like on a cloudy, dreary day like today, can we recognize that above and beyond the clouds the sun still shines? Scripture says that we don’t see clearly while here on earth:
“For now we see only a reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face-to-face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.” — I Cor. 13:12
Mirrors in antiquity were made of polished copper or bronze so while they did give a reflection of sorts, the reflections were somewhat distorted. When Mary looked in the face of the resurrected Christ, did she finally see clearly all that He intended for her to see? In our own Christian reflections can we receive the fact that we now live a life that has been resurrected?
In recent years, the concept that change is possible for the person with a homosexual orientation, or one who struggles with same-sex attractions, has been challenged. Some psychologists, theologians, and activists have claimed that it is impossible. They claim that a gay person can never become a straight person and vice versa. They have all kinds of explanations and reasoning to discredit the idea, but what they do not give credit to is the resurrected life—a Christ-honoring, transformed life.
The book of Romans testifies to the fact that a changed life is indeed possible when Jesus Christ is accepted as both Savior and Lord. First Corinthians also heralds a redeemed life in Christ:
“And that is what some of you were. But you were washed, you were sanctified, you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and by the Spirit of our God.”
— I Cor. 6:11
This verse gives evidence of changed lives. It is a reflection of new life—a resurrected, I-once-was-dead-and-now-I-am-alive life.
Like Mary, I once wept over the death and decay that had come into my life. I wept over what was missing. I wept over what I could not find. Then one day, I was in a garden and He called my name. I responded and my life has become a transformed, resurrected life. How has His transforming power affected your life?
Even on the grayest, cloudiest, rainiest of days—remember: the sun is still shining above all the weather, and above all in our lives. If we can remember this, then the Son of God will be able to shine and reflect in our own day-to-day living.
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