Behind Homosexuality
by Frank Worthen
Today a battle rages over the origins of homosexuality. This battle is not necessarily Christians against the world as one might imagine, but segments of Christianity uniting with the world to proclaim inborn, constitutional homosexuality, while other Christians, equally strong in their views proclaim homosexuality a choice one has made. Neither can justify their positions through science or Scripture, so just what do we know about the causes of homosexuality?
Those who advocate inborn homosexuality point to hormonal influences prior to birth, and more recently to a “gay gene.” Yet, who has identified these hormones? Where is this “gay gene?” An article in the Boston Globe (Feb. 7, 1999) entitled The Fading Gay Gene states: “Six years later (after the so-called discovery) however, the gene still has not been found…there is a growing consensus that sexual orientation is much more complicated than a matter of genes.” The only point of agreement is that children are born with differing temperaments. Some of these temperaments may increase to some extent the chances of a homosexual orientation (shy, isolated, fearful, etc.) There are good, solid researchers such as Dr. Elizabeth Moberly who strongly propose post-natal roots for the homosexual condition. Moberly does not stand alone; Masters and Johnson, Dr. Lawrence Hatterer, and other respected researchers also point to post-birth causes. There is much evidence to substantiate nurture and not nature as the cause of homosexuality.
What about choice? Do people choose to be homosexual? Seldom, if ever. Almost all homosexuals will agree they did not choose to become homosexual. However, since sexuality is not as rigid as most would assume, it is possible that a heterosexual adult may become burned enough by society to convert from heterosexuality to homosexual activity (whether his sexual attraction changes is not known), but this is a choice made from experience, not a choice made as a child.
All human beings must have a sense of worth and a sense of belonging. These two things are prime ingredients of our identity. Yet, worth and belonging seem to be very lacking in the early lives of most homosexual people. Our identity is bestowed on us by our parents, particularly our same-sex parent. For the most part, they are the only significant people around during the time of our identity formation. Our basic identity foundation should be in place by three years of age. At that time, we should be comfortable in our gender role. Our security as a person is built on this. If we are unsure just who we are, or feel like an outsider looking in on our family, we will not grow up with a healthy gender identity.
Often, it is obvious that a child simply does not fit into his family or into his world, and is struggling with his identity. This is sometimes called a Prehomosexual Condition. Without a secure gender identity this child may turn out gay, or may grow up with one of a number of other personality disorders. But many times, a child is very adept at covering his wounding, and tries his best to give the impression of being secure and in control. The child develops a mask, a deceptive personality to hide his deep fears and insecurities. It is this child that in adulthood will surprise family and peers by entering the gay lifestyle.
Why does a person opt for the gay lifestyle? Simply in order to establish their identity, to find their missing maleness or femaleness. Worldly maleness or femaleness is threatening to the homosexual, for a variety of reasons. For the male, his insecurities prevent him from being assertive and exerting control over others. He fears the power of other males and often chooses the companionship of women or other gay men. Here he can be male within acceptable limits. Here he can compare favorably with those around him and not be judged by worldly standards of maleness.
The gay female often rejects worldly models; femininity is seen as submissive and servile, while maleness is seen as cruel, uncaring and selfish. She often creates her own world in which she can comfortably operate. There is strength in numbers and she often feels part of a great sisterhood that provides the protection and sense of belonging she so greatly needs.
Is there a “cure” for homosexuality? Perhaps not a “cure”, but there certainly is a “process of growth” away from homosexuality and into a normal heterosexual life. The word “heterosexual” should be used with caution. It is not a word found in Scripture, and it in itself brings a distorted idea of God’s original plan. The world connects heterosexuality with lust, but lust is not a part of God’s plan, thus Christian heterosexuality always varies from worldly heterosexuality. The sexual acting out in homosexuality is nothing more than a symptom. If we treat only this symptom, we will end up with celibate homosexuality, not heterosexuality. There is much more to be worked through than just leaving behind sexual acts. The deep root causes must be recognized and presented to the Lord for change. We will discover that homosexuality has much more to do with relationship than it does with sex. Relationship with God and with His people is essential.
Something that is absent from secular attempts at change is the deep sense of worth and value we find when we truly come into a right relationship with God. God is gracious and merciful and does come to the aid of all who call upon Him. As our eyes are opened and we see that we do indeed have a Father who loves us and who will protect us, a hope for change develops in our heart. There will be no change until we come to believe change is possible. As we place our trust in God, He will give us glimpses of change, glimpses of the future and what He desires we become.
From this sense of value will come a sense of belonging. First we come to feel accepted by our heavenly Father. Then God will bring others to reinforce that great love. We will see Christ in Christians around us. God’s family can provide all that we need; love, attention, affirmation, affection, support and a sense of belonging.
As the needs become filled, the necessity for the gay lifestyle diminishes until it no longer fulfills any purpose in our life. As we learn to value ourselves and as others place value on us, there is nothing to extract from others in the gay lifestyle. The word “extract” is used deliberately because that is the reason for the gay lifestyle, each person attempting to extract their missing identity from others, yet never accomplishing this, always on a search for completion, which remains mysteriously just around the next corner.
God’s way out of homosexuality is not an easy way, but it is the only sure way. What God starts, He finishes. His demands may seem great: “Surrender all to Me”, yet God gives back far more than He demands. No one is ever short-changed with God. While we may become comfortable in the gay lifestyle, we have not experienced life as God intended it. Life is at its best and most fulfilling when we are totally surrendered to God’s will. Here we find our identity and our security. Outside of God’s will, we stumble along, seeking to heal ourselves or to make accommodations with our sin, but life will never have real joy or completion until we choose to walk in the power of God. Seek Me and you shall live! (Amos 5:4)